How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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