just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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