i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my sisters under your porch take her home
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
