i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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