You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
