You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You need Xanax blowdarts
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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