Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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