I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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