fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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