your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
