it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
