i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
