I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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