So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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