did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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