when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
