No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
