We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize