Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
