mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
