Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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