Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it glows. i had to have it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I smell like Dick and happiness
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