Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
