Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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