He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize