Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
