carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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