Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
