I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize