i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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