doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
