1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
