you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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