I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
