i just had sex bonerless
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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