he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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