So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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