this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize