alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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