I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
