do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
