Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
