Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
