Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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