Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
