Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
