im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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