If i come over, it means nothing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
