So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
