No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize