i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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