after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
