Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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