you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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