his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
