READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
