Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
