I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
