I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
