If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
