The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
