I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
