Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
