Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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