would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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