If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
