Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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