Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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