Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize