I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
