we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
