I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
