Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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