WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
