Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
