Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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