Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
