So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
