can we get nightvision for the apartment?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
