Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize