If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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