Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
